I really and seriously hate the amount of time I have been
spending contemplating this issue. I mean it’s been keeping me from beating my
own Tetris high score! That is some serious business.
A number of factors have certainly contributed in maximizing
the significance of this ordeal. Facebook news feed, high school reunions,
graduation, living in the Middle East, living in Amman in particular, and
parents, most definitely parents. And while I don’t like to think of myself as
easily influenced, these factors kept pressing
the-dilemma-that-cannot-be-named, kept pressing it right into my face.
"يما لمتى بضلها البنت زي الورده و عليها العين؟" يما والله ما أنا عارفه! هاتي أجرب أشوف لمتى!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not at all against the idea of
being swept off my feet and falling head over heels in love with some
not-completely-customized-to-my-taste-but-close-enough-so dude, but at least
give me some material to work with!
Between the
it-took-me-8-years-to-get-a-bachelor’s-degree-in-floor-sweeping-and-I’m-cool-with-it
and the momma’s boys, I started considering compromising my standards. I tried
to keep an open mind and even giving credit to those who got through 8 years of
college without giving up halfway through. The momma’s boys, I won’t be so
lenient with.
Forgive me for being this blunt, but I wholeheartedly believe in the need of a “What in the Name of Everything Holy Are You Exactly Looking for?” motivational speech for the youth of this city. Gender, not specified.
I am especially fond of those boys who take a girl’s ignorance
in the kitchen as a faux pas, I mean I can learn to cook in a month if I needed
to! Have you ever tried learning Chinese? Probably not, because you did not
NEED to. That does not mean you are incapable of doing so if the matter arises.
Or take girls who want an “open-minded” guy but freak out as soon as they know
he’s been with more than 2 girls in his humble 20 or so years of life. Make up
your mind woman! What you ordered comes with additions. Deal with it.
I’m not going to list all the nerve-racking contradictions
I see in my fellow unrealistically hopefuls, but I hope that neither the lack of
option or my own stubbornness will drive me into that web of never-ending if
onlys, at least not now.
I, myself, ask for simple credentials. A, self-made, confident, in
touch with his feminine side, doesn’t think John Mayer is gay, does not
consider Paolo Choelo’s books are in any way enlightening, preferably plays an
instrument or speaks a foreign language, has a sharp sense of sarcasm,
tree-hugging, hygienic, politically and historically informed, with a soft spot
for surreal art, does not cringe at the sight of babies, honored to be shadowed
by his father but strives to be a shade for his younger brother, makes
on-the-spot plans, but owns up to responsibility, liberal, intellectual kind of
guy. I might have gotten a bit too carried away being picky. But all in all
simple eh?
On a more serious note, I just pray that his idea of being
original does not revolve around rooting for Valencia instead of Barcelona or
Real Madrid. What a rebel that would be!
Leave it to John Mayer to tell it like it is ;)